hi ho

Teenagers Are The Worst

And it is easy to forget this in New York because there are no teenagers there. Or, I guess there must be, but they are all sitting in Central Park or on the steps of the Met eating yogurt (according to Gossip Girl, which is the only source of information that I have on this subject). But I have returned to the homeland, California, for the week and California is full of shitty teens driving shitty cars who are way worse at texting and driving than I am. 

Anyway, on Friday I was rear-ended by a real sack of shit of a teenager at a red light in Los Angeles. I know he is a sack of shit because he was only cooperative until he realized it’s illegal to drive a motor vehicle without insurance and then he did a full bail. I ALSO know he is a sack of shit, because some light Googling of his name and area code led me to discover this:

Yes, in the happiest twist the universe could possibly provide, my teen driver was the star of a riveting 2015 Walnut Creek news item in which he tried to climb a mountain alone at night, only to get lost and resort to sending a series of SOS Snapchats to his friends and family.  He is like the white teenaged DJ Khaled, only dumber, and less insured (probably).

Skip to 1:45 to hear him blame the mountain for being too easy to get lost on.

Update: Hertz Don't Play

I quit my job!