Fucked My Way Up To The Top: The Nick Viall Story

Please God let this be an indicator of this sad man's dancing skills

Back in January, Ben Higgins told the world that the producers of the Bachelor were shocked he was returning to work. "We just don't typically have that happen," they said. "That doesn't typically happen where someone goes back to the job they had before."

So, if you're not the most boring human on the history of the show, what's a former-Bachelor to do? 

Nick Viall, after (presumably) failing to find love on four different seasons of the Bachelor, has set his eye on what we would call a lateral career move. He is moving to a different ABC reality franchise where he will stay for maybe 3-4 years before, I don't know, getting a permanent seat around the table at The View? Gunning for a Freeform scripted series? 

Let's be real, everyone goes on the Bachelor for their fifteen minutes of fame. Maybe it's to Nick's great credit that he's decided to make his mildly scandalous televised sex life into a career. He's like a less talented Kim Kardashian (imagine that??).

Oh, Nick. I admire your tenacity. But maybe take a page from Taylor Swift's book.