Today is May 5, 2012. In 230 or so days it will be December 21, 2012. Lately there has been some talk of the world ending on December 21, 2012. This is slightly stressful for those of use who would like to live to see our 24th birthdays.
I have no idea how big of a threat 2012 actually is. On one hand, Wikipedia says that it’s nothing to be worried about. On the other hand, History Channel’s Ancient Aliens says that it is. And when Ancient Aliens and Wikipedia don’t agree on something, I have no idea which to believe. But I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry. Or dead.
In general it’s good to be prepared. Even for totally preposterous situations. If the preposterous situation ever happens, you’ll be way on top of it. And in the mean time, saying things like “Hey, I know how to survive in case New York ever gets taken down by a massive tidal wave caused by a meteor that NASA didn’t have enough money to blow up” is a really great way to get boys at parties interested in you. And definitely take my advice on picking up boys. I have hooked up with one as recently as 13 months ago.
The major problem with preparing for the 2012 apocalypse is that no one seems to definitively know which gigantic disaster is going to be the end of us. The major earthquake preparations I set up in my home in Northern California when I was six – most of which included permanently keeping all of my prized toys and stuffed animals under various doorframes in our house – would probably not do much good in case of a tornado. (Note to six-year-old self: save the stuffed animals by duct taping them to the back of a toilet.) So really the only way to be prepared is to be ready for literally every kind of possible destructive force.
In the coming days (or weeks or months, judging by this blog’s track record) I will share ALL of my disaster survival methods that I have devised after days (about 4) of intense video research (mostly NatGeo specials) and interviews with experts (my geology major sister). I will do this sort of for the wellbeing of my (2-3) dedicated readers but mostly because I would like A+E Networks to read this work and give me my own TV show. I’m really sure that trolling the internet for crazy people is how they find most of their talent for their shows. This is definitely going to work. Stay tuned…